


chiseled in my bones

by EllieLovesYou



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, and like..kind of no resolution, angst angst angst, open ended i suppose you could say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10542249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieLovesYou/pseuds/EllieLovesYou
Summary: “I don’t wanna do this” Betty mumbles to herself as she looks down at her hands, crescent shaped wounds staring up at her filling her with a shame she hasn’t felt in so long, a shame stemming from her need to harm herself to have something to control. A need she hasn’t succumbed to in years.





	

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes you just need to cleanse the soul and write angst so thats what i did..whoops. hope you like it!

“I don’t wanna do this” Betty mumbles to herself as she looks down at her hands, crescent shaped wounds staring up at her filling her with a shame she hasn’t felt in so long, a shame stemming from her need to harm herself to have something to control. A need she hasn’t succumbed to in years.

“God, I don’t wanna do this” she grabs a tissue and quickly presses them to the palms of her hand, tears burning her eyes. She’s been dreading this day since they agreed on the date--a date Betty suggested in the first place.

“Betts?” Veronica’s voice is soft and gentle and, yet, it still makes Betty jump “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah” she quickly crumbles the tissues in her hands and throws them in the trash can that sits next to her vanity “Just--just needed a minute before we take off”

The raven haired beauty frowns at her best friend before walking over to Betty’s side and gently rises the blonde’s hand so she can look at her palm. Veronica takes her bottom lip between her teeth and sighs “Betty--”

“I know” the blonde yanks her hand back “I know” a beat “I just--” she screws her eyes shut as two tears roll down her cheeks “I didn’t think it’d be so hard, Ronnie. I didn’t think--” a sob creeps up her throat, choking back the words she wants to say.

Veronica quickly bends down and gathers her blonde best friend in her arms, her own heart cracking for Betty “I know, baby” she smooths her hand down Betty’s back “I know”

“I don’t wanna lose her, Ronnie--I don’t wanna--” the word _‘divorce’_ sticks to her tongue, a sour taste in her mouth when she tries to choke it out, like bile resting on her tongue “I don’t wanna do this” she buries her nose in Veronica’s neck and doesn’t even focus on the fact that she’s going to have to redo her makeup and that she probably just smeared half of her face on Veronica’s collar.

“I got you” Veronica racks her brain for something to say, something to comfort her friend but she can’t, she can’t because there is nothing she could say to make any of this better. She can’t fix her friend’s heart, she can’t put the pieces back together.

All Veronica can do at this point is just hold Betty and try to keep Betty together for a little longer “c’mon” she gently pulls back, letting her hands slide down to Betty’s waist, something to let the blonde know she’s not leaving her “we’re gonna fix up that beautiful face of yours, we’re gonna go down to the courthouse, do what you need to do and then come home and just--” she purses her lips “and just sleep and eat till it doesn’t feel so bad”

“I don’t know if that’s possible” Betty sniffs, her hands stuck in a fist, the sting of her wounds just making her press them together harder “I don’t feel like this is ever going to be better”

“It will” Veronica pushes some of Betty’s blonde hair out of her face, her usual pony gone in favor of her blonde locks cascading around her face “It will take some time but it will, I promise”

Betty sucks in a breath--she knows that one day, she won’t feel like she feels now. Won’t feel like her world is crumbling in on itself leaving her buried under the rumble but that day is nowhere in sight.

“Can we just--can we just do?” a pause “I just need to do it”

“Okay” Veronica pats the blonde’s thigh before standing up and reaching down for the makeup still laid out on the vanity “Let’s put you together and then we’ll go”

Betty just nods and allows her best friend to try and conceal the fact that Betty just had a small breakdown--a fruitless effort, Betty knows, because there’s just no hiding the heartbreak in her eyes.

 

-

 

“Cheryl” the redhead tears her eyes away from her own reflection to look at Josie, standing in the doorway, a neutral look on her face “if you wanna be on time, you gotta go know”

A beat and then “Right” she looks back at her reflection and studies her face--little to no evidence of the sob session that she had just a few hours ago but her eyes are just so sad and no amount of eyeshadow, concealer, or eyeliner can fix it “Can you--can you go get the car? I just need a few more minutes”

“Better yet, why don’t you take another week?” Josie takes a step into the room “Cheryl, this isn’t right and you know it--this is killing her. I visited Veronica’s yesterday to make sure she’s okay and Ron wouldn’t even let me see her” Cheryl bites down on her lip, anything to conceal her whimper “she’s a mess. She doesn’t want this” a beat “And neither do you”

“It’s what’s right” Cheryl snaps, her anger at herself bubbling over like it often does “I’m not going to let her waste away waiting for everything to go back to the way it was because it’s not going to!”

“Don’t yell at me just because you’re angry at yourself” Cheryl hates how well Josie knows her “You can still fix this, Cher. Just tell her--tell her you don’t want this”

“She wasn’t happy, Josie!” the redhead stands up “She was waiting and waiting to be happy again and she wasn’t and it wasn’t going to happen! I fucked up and she--” Cheryl inhales, sharply “She tried to forgive and I’m just--I’m fixing what I broke!”

Josie squares her shoulders “She’s lost with you, Cheryl. She doesn’t leave the house, she barely eats!” Josie doesn’t mean to yell because Cheryl’s her girl, she knows what the redhead responds to and yelling isn’t one of them but she’s also grown fond of Betty over the years and it hurts Josie to know they’re both in pain “She can’t lose you and you can’t lose her!”

Cheryl huffs, angrily “Just please go get the car” a beat “Please” it’s a plea, a plea filled with so much heartbreak that it’s enough to make Josie feel her chest ache.

“Okay” she sighs “You have five more minutes before we have to go”

The redhead lets out a breath, shaky and broken “thank you” as soon as Josie is out of the room, Cheryl looks up at her reflection and feels her chest ache--she doesn’t want this. She wants to Betty for the rest of her life and be happy together and to just-- _be_.

But like everything, it went to shit.

Betty tried to put on a brave face and smile through it but Cheryl saw right through it--she saw all that pent up hurt and anger. Filing for divorce was the only thing Cheryl could think of to really even try and fix everything.

Even if she’s shattering her own heart in the process.

 

-

 

“All that’s left to do is sign the papers” Betty blinks as two tears roll down her face, silent and swallowed sobs till she can crumble back into her own bed “Ms. Cooper?” she feels like she’s going to throw up--no one’s called her ‘Ms. Cooper’ in so long that it feels wrong to hear.

“Can we have a minute?” Cheryl’s voice takes her by surprise, her heart thundering in her ears as the redhead’s voice fills the silence “Just a minute, please”

“Elizabeth” her lawyer's hand squeezes her arm, an old family friend that had handled her mother’s divorce from her father just over eight years ago  “is that okay with you?”

“Y--Yes” she curses herself for stuttering “that’s fine”

Sounds of chairs scraping against the floor break the tension that had settled across the room and then the shutting of the door and then “Betty?” her hands curl in on themselves “Betty, please look at me” Betty sucks in a shaky breath before raising her head to meet the brown eyes she has loved for so long now, eyes she still loves with every inch of her heart.

“I’m so--” Cheryl sighs “I’m so sorry”

“Why?” the blonde’s voice is rough and raw “Why are you doing this?”

“You weren’t--you weren’t happy, Betty” a beat “you tried so hard to forgive me and I just--I saw how you were so tired of trying and just-- _not happy_ ”

“Do I look happy now, Cheryl?!” Betty snaps, anger piercing her stomach at the redhead’s words “Do I look fucking happy now?!”

“Betty--”

“I forgave you, Cheryl. I forgave you for what you did because I love you--” no one misses the present tense “you forgive those you love if you can and I could so I did--I forgave you and I was working on getting back to where I was--where _we_ were! You gave me no time!”

“It’s been five months, Betty” Cheryl huffs “You--you wanted everything to go back to how it was and that wasn’t going to happen!”

Betty looks away and down at her palms, blood staining them and the tips of her fingers. Shame fills her again as feels her eyes burn “I didn’t want to give up” she croaks out “God, Cheryl--I didn’t wanna give up” tears fall down her cheeks as she looks up and to look at her wife “I didn’t want to give up and--and-- _do this_ because I knew this was hurt so much more than the waiting ever did” she sniffs and wipes at her cheeks, angrily “and I was right”

“Betty--”

“You made your choice” the blonde cuts in “You made a choice for the both of us”

Cheryl feels tears roll down her face as her chest aches “I’m sorry”

There’s a moment where no one speaks before Betty releases something that sounds like a cross between a sob and sigh before reaching to the table and snagging the stack of papers towards her. She intials where she’s supposed to and then flips to the last page, she pauses and then signs her full name.

_Elizabeth Blossom-Cooper._

She looks up at Cheryl’s heartbroken face and slides the papers across the table “If you want this, truly and wholly want this, sign your name and file it” she grabs her purse and coat off the chair next to her “If not. Don’t--” she shakes her head “Don’t and come to Veronica’s and we can work on this and we can go home together” a beat “ It’s up to you, Cheryl” she slips on her coat and walks over to the door.

“Betty” the blonde pauses just as she’s about to open the door “I--whatever I do, just know--I love you. I do”

The blonde slaps her hand over her mouth to muffle her sob, she chokes back what she can before swallowing, hard “I--I love you too” with that, she yanks the door open and walks and walks and walks till Veronica’s arms make her stop and hold her still while she cries.

 

-

 

Cheryl looks down at the stack of papers in front of her, her heart in her throat and her stomach twisted into knots while her right hand clenches around a pen. For the last four months, she’s been convinced that divorcing is what Betty needs, what’s best for Betty and yet.

Yet, Cheryl still pauses. She pauses as her wife’s words ring throughout her head while her heart aches and her head screams at her. Screams what do to.

“Ms. Blossom?” she looks up at the sound of her lawyer’s voice “Did she sign the papers?”

“Yes” the word is bitter in her mouth “she has”

“And you?”

A beat “No--” she sighs “Not--not yet”

He looks at her, perplexed “Are you going to?”

Another pause and then “Can I have a few more minutes?” her lawyer sighs and just nods before slipping out of the room again.

Cheryl looks at Betty’s signature and feels her stomach clench--for months, her head and her heart had been in disagreement, yelling at each other, yelling at her, in war for what was good and now--

And now, they’re in agreement.

And Cheryl knows what she has to do.

**Author's Note:**

> please drop a comment if u can! makes my day!


End file.
